words to live by

On thinking the snack is what put you over the edge and not the giant burrito:
"A horrible side effect of pot brownies is getting a snack on the way to eat lunch." (Liz)

On misfortune:
(Jenny) "I've got poop hands. Let me have some hand sanitizer."
(Liz) "but you don't like hand sanitizer."
(Jenny) "Yes, but i'd use it on poop hands."

On referring to the word "appropriate":
"Look at her, acting all appropriate and shit. See? She doesn't expect someone like me to use big words like that." (Nash, the neighborhood muse)

On kangaroos:
(Liz) "I'm so glad I'm not a marsupial. I would always lose stuff in my goddam pouch." (Liz)

On eating too much:
(Liz) "I have burrito in my teeth."
(Jenny) "I have burrito in every orifice"

*A girl walks by*
(to Maddie) "Ooooo she likes that. You wanna hurt that dontcha?"

On lightweights:
"You're a 12 ouncer. That's cool."

On interpretive dancing to Bob Dylan:
(Liz)"I can't do that"
(Jenny) "Do what?"
(Liz) "Put my pants on my head"
(Jenny) "He says, 'put a pencil in my hand'"
(Liz) "oh"

It was a 'what was I thinking' kind of Saturday...

I ate a pot brownie
I at Cheetos
I ate a burrito
What was I thinking?

I hugged hot neighbor twice
I should have hugged him thrice
What was I thinking?

Decide to save my corn chips
carried them home in a snack bag
poured salsa on chips inside bag
What was I thinking?

I woke up in a pool of blood at the bottom of my friend's stairs
What was I thinking?

I invited everyone into my house
The Earl Brothers came to play
I slept in my roommates bed
I don't remember a thing
What was I thinking?