Jenny on Productive Saturday:

"I'm actually still reveling in the glow of myself right now."

Liz and Mikey

Liz- Does anyone have a lighter? Mike just took a giant shit and I need to take a shower.

Mike- Well..it was sort of medium.

Mike the Plumber

I hate toilets.

Liz on blacking out

Me: I'm done with blacking out.

Liz: I'm pretty sure I am right now.

Liz at the Lost Coast

I want you on my team for street fighter wars. {pause} I'm drinking a bowl of wine. And sand.

Mikey on Revolution Magazine

This is why I don't read this magazine. They have an 'ask a celebrity' section. The drummer of Pantera is the last person you want advice from if you're a chubby chick.

Liz on toothpicks

Me- These toothpicks are nice. They're minty.

Liz- This is cinnamon bullshit

Mikey at Costco

I feel like I'm pretty much an educated racist

(...minutes later in the car)

Liz- So Mikey, what's a derrogotary name for a plumber?

Mike- (w/o hesitation)- A turd herder